Destiny and Dreams
by thebronzeEF
Summary: No matter what Buffy tries to do stay away from Spike, her vampire somehow always knows how to do or say the right thing... Set between the end of Tabula Rasa and the beginning of Smashed.
1. The Evening After

She couldn't concentrate on patrol. Not when their kiss was still in her mind from last night. She remembered his firm but gentle grip on her waist as his fingers moved gently over her lower back. She remembered being pulled closer to him and losing herself in his hold. Even though vampires couldn't breathe, she swore she felt Spike's warm sweet breath on her neck. But most of all, she could still feel his soft, soothing lips on hers as their tongues entwined..

STOP IT

She had to let this go. It was a stupid mistake. Okay, maybe the same mistake twice but it ended now. Nothing more could happen between them. DONE. FINISHED. OVE -

Suddenly, Buffy's illicit thoughts and fantasies were interrupted when she heard a crack behind her. She spun round, grabbing the thing that was lurking a few paces behind and pinned it to the ground. She was about to plunge a stake through it's heart when she stopped and heard a familiar voice.

"Bloody hell love, don't be so skittish!". Buffy rolled her eyes and clambered off of the now filthy figure.

"Spike! What the hell are you doing creeping up on me like that? Oh yeah, because you've got nothing better to do than to stalk the slayer!"

Spike regained his footing and made a measly attempt to brush the dirt off of his duster. "Well it doesn't technically count as stalking if the stalkee has responded to the stalker...twice", Spike replied in an annoyingly seductive tone that Buffy loved and hated at the same time.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Yeah we kissed, so what? Nothing can ever happen..ever! The sooner you get that into your head the better", Buffy snapped. She turned away to carry on patrolling but Spike was there in a flash and grabbed her arm with one hand and her waist with the other. Buffy was momentarily forced to look into his sparkling blue eyes. Then they all came back. All the memories of last night and the night before in fact. Spike had now released his grip on Buffy's arm, as she wasn't trying to run away anymore. He brushed his palm across her cheek instead, as he cupped her perfect face in his hand. He edged closer to her but still, she didn't move. His lips had just brushed the slayer's when she hurled him against a crypt wall.

"I've told you before. This can't ever work. Now stay the hell away from me and my friends or so help me I will kill you!" With a swish of her hair, she ran off into the darkness, leaving Spike even more determined to win over his girl...


	2. A Close Call

Buffy slammed the door behind her and slid down her bedroom wall, landing with a thud. She held her head in her hands, fuming that she'd allowed Spike that close to her again. Why couldn't he just take the hint and leave? Buffy pushed her thoughts aside and clambered into bed. It was late. Tomorrow was a new day. She had at least 18 hours before Spike was able to leave his crypt again. Plenty of time to figure out how she was going to stop this freak show once and for all...

Buffy awoke to the sound of Willow opening the door and the rattle of a tray. "Rise and shine Buffy! It's midday!", she chirped. Buffy opened a bleary eye and looked at her clock. Great. Now only 8 hours. She never usually slept in this late. Well, she had stayed out late patrolling last ni - Ugh. She didn't even want to think about last night. She'd been awake less than 30 seconds and Spike had ruined her day not even being around!

"I brought Pancakes. Tara made too many for Dawn so we had spares", Willow explained.

"Thanks Will." She sat up and received the tray. Willow smiled and headed out of the room. Buffy bit into the pancakes. Damn, Tara knew how to make the best pancakes!

Right

Buffy thought to herself.

I'm not letting Spike ruin things for me. I have a life. He doesn't control it.

Suddenly, Willow ran around the corner again.

"Oh yeh and Buffy, Giles says you need to go see Spike ASAP. We need information on this demon that's terrorizing the lower part of town", she panted and skipped out into the hallway again. Buffy scrunched up her eyes and bashed her head against the headboard.

"Shit!", she groaned.

Buffy reluctantly knocked on the door of Spike's crypt and entered. She wanted to get in and and out of there as fast as she could.

"Alright, love?", Spike asked as he saw the slayer enter. "Changed your mind about last night I see?", he taunted.

"Spike, shut up I'm here about a demon. Giles sent me."

Spike didn't seen convinced.

"So how is old Rupert? Still as boring as ever?"

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"C'mon, I'm busy, so what do you know about this demon that's been terrorising the lower parts of town?" Her fists were clenched and she was tapping her foot impatiently. Spike caught onto this. "What's got you so on edge, love?". He raised an eyebrow. Buffy tried her best to act none the wiser.

"Nothing. I'm just busy so hurry up!", she yelled maybe a little too loudly.

"You may be a lot of things slayer but you're a terrible liar", he chuckled. Buffy had heard enough of Spike's 'oh so witty comments'. She'd get Xander to come over later.

"Just forget it."

Before he could say anything else, Buffy spun on the spot and moved as fast as she could towards the exit but she had forgotten how close Spike was to her. Before she knew it, he had grabbed both of her arms. She was desperately trying to fend him off but his grip was too strong. All the time, he was smiling a seductive, evil smile that no one could resist. She stopped trying to squirm free for a split second and he didn't hesitate in leaning in to kiss her. As soon as his lips touched her's, Buffy was completely beyond resisting him. She knew it was too late and knew that she liked it. She was kidding herself if she said that she didn't. Spike's arms had now slithered around her waist and hers around his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair and he deepened the kiss. Buffy had just thrown her jacket on the floor when she heard footsteps outside the crypt. She frantically pulled away from Spike's embrace and scooped up her jacket. She quickly ran to the other side of the room. Xander wandered in to the crypt.

"Hey Buff, Giles asked me to come along since you'd been a while an-". Xander stopped, staring at the out of breath pair, Spike's creased shirt and Buffy's removed jacket.

"Is someone gonna tell me what the hell is going on?!"


	3. What The Heart Wants

Buffy struggled to find the words.

"Well?", Xander asked again. Buffy just stood there, motionless, panic taking over her thoughts.

"Just fighting", Spike suddenly interrupted. Buffy frantically nodded, not being able to think of anything different.

"I pissed the slayer off as usual and she just went for me, ya know..." , Spike murmured too unconfidently for Buffy's liking. There was an awkward, eery silence as Xander's suspicious eyes continued to dance from Spike to Buffy.

Xander thought about it.

Come on. It must be the truth. Buffy wouldn't stoop as low as that creep. Especially after everything he's done to her.

Xander relaxed a little and turned to Buffy. "Right...whatever..well, do you have that info on the demon?"

Buffy turned to Spike and looked him in the eye as to sort of warn him off and thank him at the same time.

"No. He doesn't know anything. Lets go", Buffy demanded as she spun around to Xander again. Xander exited the crypt, followed by Buffy but she lingered in the doorway for a moment and looked back at Spike who gave her a seductive wink. Buffy had to shut the door before he saw her smile.

God! This is so wrong.

Her head was talking sense.

But it feels so right!

Her heart wasn't helping matters...

It had been an awkward atmosphere between Buffy and Xander on the journey home. She tried to get his attention but his gaze flickered away every time she turned her head. What if Xander DID know what was really up but he was just hiding it? What if he told Giles? What if he told Willow? Or worse still..what if he told Dawn? Buffy was really starting to panic now. She needed to make sure nothing ever happened with Spike again and convince Xander that it wouldn't. But what if Xander didn't actually know about her and Spike and she accidentally dropped herself in it?

"Oh fuck!", she whispered under her breath. She needed air.

"Xander. Stop the car!", Buffy commanded, trying to stay calm.

"Buff, what's up? We're almost home", Xander replied confused.

"Xander just stop the car now!" Buffy let out all the panic that had been building up in her. Before she realised it, she was digging her nails into the hot leather seat and slowly ripping the material. Xander slammed the breaks on and skidded to a halt, parking further onto the pavement than he should've. Buffy scrambled to unfasten her seatbelt and open the car door. She felt her panic levels die down a little as the cool breeze flew across her face. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, blocking out the noises of the busy Sunnydale streets but Xander's yelling soon brought her back to earth.

"Buffy! What is up with you?"

Sorry, I..just need some space", she replied vacantly. "I'll see you at home later yeh?" The slayer started running in the opposite direction of home but didn't stop as Xander cried out towards her. Before she did anything else, she needed to be sure of something first...

It was getting dark now and Buffy was still traipsing through the demon infested areas of Sunnydale. She couldn't face going home. Not yet. She couldn't deal with the thought that she'd have to explain her freak out to everyone. She needed to be away from prying eyes, away from questions. Buffy soon found herself standing outside of Spike's crypt of all places. She needed to make sure that... Before she finished thinking, she swung open the door with a thud, startling an outstretched Spike who was sitting on an armchair in front of the TV. He quickly spun his head around and Buffy could see a slight smile forming on his lips.

"Slayer. About earlier I wa -", he started. "You can't tell ANYONE about what happened. Xander's already suspicious enough and-". She didn't notice Spike slowly approaching her. Buffy continued. "My life is already complicated and messed up enough without having to deal with you and all your stu -". Buffy was silenced by a soft and tender kiss. Spike's arms were not locked around her like they usually were. He just held a comforting hand around the side of her face, like he trusted her not to run from him anymore.

"Why would I tell anyone pet?", he whispered in a soothing tone as he drew away from her. Without thinking, Buffy threw her arms around the vampire's neck and pulled him close into a passionate embrace. She didn't care about the consequences at that moment. She didn't care about the questions waiting for her at home and the angry scoobies ready to crucify her for her disappearing act. She just lost herself in Spike's hold, wanting to feel loved...


End file.
